Careening Through Time

Tempus fugit, indeed.

{???}

The Second Republic of the Americas? I don't believe it. If only Charlie had mentioned it, earlier. A lot of heartache could have been avoided, Charlie's in particular.

She's a bit miserable at the moment. It was unfortunate that we ended up somewhere so close to her time and place of origin, and it turned out to be so unpleasant. It's always a little upsetting to realize that one's childhood institutions are not infallible, and certainly not fair. I think I'm still getting over that, myself, some days. She looked so surprised and so hurt when she realized that the patricians had made up their mind and the truth didn't make a jot of difference, no matter how loudly she proclaimed it. Poor thing.

It's a shame because, aside from the occasional murder, deliberate scapegoating and fossilized relics of an outdated class system, Boyer Manor could have been quite nice; a rambling 18th century pile that had avoided the worst of the 19th century fad for remodeling, a charming forest on the grounds which was apparently made for rambling walks, and a simply enchanting village down the road. Really, quite bucolic...

Yes. A shame that something is so terribly wrong around there - and I don't just mean the social structure that's hanging on in defiance of all logic... Worse yet, I don't think it's confined to just that locale. The barrier between universes has been getting dangerously thin of late, as the activities of the assistant cook, her husband and their rather unpleasant doppelgangers proved. The breach is probably in the woods, given where Charlie found those coins. If I remember my geography correctly - and Charlie's criticism aside, I have quite a good memory for places - I believe this area has had/will have a turbulent history, which suggests that thinning wall between worlds has been - and will be - well established. No good will come of this, that's certain.

Patching these 'holes' is devlishly tricky, though. If the TARDIS can spare me a little bit of energy from her dimesional stabilizers, and I can identify the harmonic frequencies on both sides of the rift, I might be able to stabilize it, at least, if not close it entirely. It's that or the future downtown Cardiff is going to have some very unusual citizens...

{???}

I have a ball of string, a 5D gyroscope, half a pint of Thosian tonic (good for the nerves) and a very strange reading on the gravitophoton tracker. At least, I think that's the gravitophoton tracker.

Let's see where we end up, hm? A change of scene is called for!

{???}

Surely, having two croquet courts is a bit excessive?

And how on earth did they get infested with hedgehogs?

{now}

There are days when I look out at the bountiful universe and I think What a good idea! It all fits together so nicely, with just enough exceptions to the rules to keep things interesting. Granted, it's full of sentient beings that are prone to making the occasional mistake but, really, it all works out in the end. Lovely!

And then there are days like today, when I wonder why I go to all the bother.

I hit bottom - or as close to it as I ever want to be - in that other universe. When I was expected to destroy Bortresoye for the sake of some tired old philosophy - yet to understand that Bortresoye was the Divergent's universe in relative microcosm - I honestly meant my 'last' actions. What the hell, press the button and let someone else sort it all out. I was so tired - of everything. I'd apparently lost Charley and C'rizz and my sense of place in the universe and the TARDIS and frankly, I didn't feel like I had anything left at that point. Nothing and no-one to live for. I wanted to take my anger and frustration out on the whole stinking universe. Poor old Bortresoye...

I can't save everyone. I don't want to save everyone. Some people really aren't worth it - although I won't go out of my way to deny anyone a chance of redemption. Well, usually I won't. Who knows what I've done during my lapses in memory? I could have been a tyrant worse than Davros, although I like to think that someone would have mentioned it by now...

I'm tired. I'm worried - about C'rizz, about what might be happening on Gallifrey, about the fact that Rassilon could still break free and, in doing so, manifest at any point in time or space, thanks to that strange nature of the other universe. I used to believe that Rassilon was a good man, corrupted by power, and still deserving that chance of redemption. I don't think so, any more.

I'm tired.

{???}

An unpleasant night, dreaming of people long gone and dusty air that tasted of bone.

She's in a mood and she won't tell me why until she's good and ready. All I can do in the meantime is hold on and make a lot of cocoa.

{Now}

I spent the afternoon in the TARDIS' garden. Well, I say the garden, but it's entirely possible that she has more than one. My ship has managed to surprise me before - sometimes quite severely. For the moment, things seem to be peaceful. I think we're still getting re-acquainted with each other, after our time apart. Who knows what damage Rassilon did for however long he had her?

That's the worrying thing about that time spent in the Divergent universe. I'm honestly not sure how much time it was. Looking at Charley, it couldn't have been more than a few months - I'm a good judge of human aging. But given the nature of how that universe operated, who's to say if what felt like a few months there wasn't in fact a century of personal experience, strangely compressed? Needless to say, I'm glad to be out of there. All my senses are returned.

Back to the garden. I needed the time to myself. Charley was there, of course, but she preferred to stay in a hammock, ostensibly catching up on her reading. I wasn't so churlish as to ask if the snoring distracted her from her battered copy of Sense and Sensibility. C'rizz was elsewhere.

C'rizz is... he's got a lot on his mind, I know. He doesn't want to talk about it, I know that too. I'll respect his desire for privacy for the time being - what happened to him on Earth was quite horrific. He's built a wall around it, I think - but it also means he's putting up a wall between me and Charley. Perhaps this universe doesn't suit him, but I know he doesn't want to return to the ongoing, cyclic catastrophe that is his home universe - nor would I want to take him there if I could. Rassilon's still there, after all.

Back to C'rizz. If I had to guess - and I do - I think he believes that keeping some distance between himself and me and Charley is for our good. For whatever reason, he can't accept that I know what he did as a member of the Church of The Foundation (or Foundry - and that in itself is no doubt another cause of anguish for him) and whilst I can't agree with such a philosophy, I can accept that it happened, and that C'rizz changed for the better, long before he met me. But something happened to him during our most recent jaunt to Earth, and he won't talk about it. Oh, I'm sure I could discern what happened, but rummaging around in another sentient being's mind is very poor form. Kro'ka was an exception, as - in my nastier moments - I'd entertain arguments about his possible lack of sentience and, besides, I wasn't quite myself. Not my whole self, at least.

That's it, really. C'rizz isn't quite himself. Not the himself I'm used to him being. More to the point, I don't think he's happy. I need to bring him out, to get him to talk about whatever it was that happened. A further aggravation is that I'm reasonably sure the rift that opened up between he and Charley on the blue planet hasn't quite healed. In that particular case, I think I'd better start with Charley. She could teach C'rizz lessons in being stubborn, alas.

The bougainvillea really is quite a mess. I suppose I should be a little more ruthless when pruning it.

I'm not sure if I'm going to go anywhere with this, but in case I do...

This journal is one big fan-squee. The Doctor doesn't exist (except in the minds of the fans and creators). I have nothing to do with any sort of official writing for the show, so please don't ask. I'm sure this strikes you as a common sense fact, dear reader, but you'd be amazed at the number of morons out there on the interweb.

Until/Unless noted otherwise, I'm handling the myriad of material available to back up the character thusly: ( read on )

Incidentally, if you're the mod for an online game and you want to pitch it to me, feel free. I'll warn you that I have some rather firm ideas about Gallifreyans in general and The Doctor in particular, so don't be surprised if those ideas are incompatible with yours.